Today I'm sharing another in the series of layouts in memory of my Oliver. This layout is the first one in which he wears his feeding tube. The tube would be an important part of our lives for his final six months. When I found out that the insertion of the tube was the only way we could have hope of any sort of long-term survival, I reluctantly agreed to it's placement. I was horrified that my beautiful perfect boy would have an ugly red rubber tube sticking out his neck and a bulky collar to hold it in place for the rest of his life. I had been orally syringe feeding him prior to the tube insertion and following the diagnosis of the Pancreatitis and small cell intestinal lymphoma. I quickly learned that until the chemo takes control of the lymphoma, that it would be very difficult for him to absorb enough calories to gain back some of the weight he'd lost. The tube was a life saving device for us, and when I saw how bravely he accepted it, it didn't bother me so much. He was the same beautiful boy he'd always been and the tube quickly became just another part of our journey, and it remained in place until his passing. I loved my brave boy, and I miss him so much every day. He was so much a part of my life, and his passing was so devastating, that I'm not the same person I was before. It's as if a big chunk of me is just missing. Thanks so much for looking!